death of a retard (11/01/05)
To complete the mental handicap trilogy, I now explain how I sprained my elbow on the weekend, and bruised one of the nearby bones. Typical setup, sitting in a shopping cart off the back of a car, being pulled fast and letting go, then flying into something like a bush. It was different, though, because James Wiens was the driver. You may remember him from the first two films, and from a brief cameo in the third Madness film. Him and Joel showed up at my place, to meet me, bran, manj, and heather, but she took off before we got to the parking lot.
When we got there, some accident had occured at the intersection on South Fraser Way, so we had to delay moving the cart to the back lot, but did it anyway, and managed to avoid police attention. Got in, grabbed on, Bran rolled camera, and we were off. First one was slow, I guess Jame isn't used to what I'm used to. Impact was good, I didn't fall or suffer much.
Second attempt, he turned the wrong way towards our camera crew, so the footage got fucked up as Bran tried avoiding getting run over. Then the third time. Right before going, some guy went by on a bike, and I thought nothing of it. Told James to go fast, and did he ever. Sixty kilometres per hour, to be exact. And when he turned away, I got an extra bit of acceleration, as is the standard thing to experience.
It was faster than ever before, and I guess when it hit the curb, it flew forward faster than me, and the side wailed into my elbow. I landed in the nice soft bush, but that didn't stop my elbow from snapping. It was nearly impossible to move after that, and right then a cop came by, seeing what we were up to. We said we were riding carts, and he said that they had been getting complaints from [edit] aboot damaged carts, and for us not to do it again.
We went back around out front, and inside [edit] we saw the same tall, ugly fucker that had gone by on his bike earlier. The fucking assfuck sold us out. Thing is, I've never seen him there before, so he's likely only on the night crew. [edit]
The footage from this death scene showed up perfectly though, so it was all good. Even if it did land me in the hospital for X-rays. Overall, I'm satisfied with the whole thing, which I think adds to the general retardisms that I seem to have. But for now, hopefully I won't do something that unintentionally hurts me. Damn light bulb incident, and now this, and before that the retard trap that caught me somehow...
Did up a 330-1030 shift today, on halloween no less, so it was a shitty night. Not enough people came to visit me, but the ones that did were much appreciated. I like it when people come see me at work. I'm also doing wednesday and friday this week, 330-1030, hint hint.
When we got there, some accident had occured at the intersection on South Fraser Way, so we had to delay moving the cart to the back lot, but did it anyway, and managed to avoid police attention. Got in, grabbed on, Bran rolled camera, and we were off. First one was slow, I guess Jame isn't used to what I'm used to. Impact was good, I didn't fall or suffer much.
Second attempt, he turned the wrong way towards our camera crew, so the footage got fucked up as Bran tried avoiding getting run over. Then the third time. Right before going, some guy went by on a bike, and I thought nothing of it. Told James to go fast, and did he ever. Sixty kilometres per hour, to be exact. And when he turned away, I got an extra bit of acceleration, as is the standard thing to experience.
It was faster than ever before, and I guess when it hit the curb, it flew forward faster than me, and the side wailed into my elbow. I landed in the nice soft bush, but that didn't stop my elbow from snapping. It was nearly impossible to move after that, and right then a cop came by, seeing what we were up to. We said we were riding carts, and he said that they had been getting complaints from [edit] aboot damaged carts, and for us not to do it again.
We went back around out front, and inside [edit] we saw the same tall, ugly fucker that had gone by on his bike earlier. The fucking assfuck sold us out. Thing is, I've never seen him there before, so he's likely only on the night crew. [edit]
The footage from this death scene showed up perfectly though, so it was all good. Even if it did land me in the hospital for X-rays. Overall, I'm satisfied with the whole thing, which I think adds to the general retardisms that I seem to have. But for now, hopefully I won't do something that unintentionally hurts me. Damn light bulb incident, and now this, and before that the retard trap that caught me somehow...
Did up a 330-1030 shift today, on halloween no less, so it was a shitty night. Not enough people came to visit me, but the ones that did were much appreciated. I like it when people come see me at work. I'm also doing wednesday and friday this week, 330-1030, hint hint.
posted by michaelnicholas at 7:53 AM
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